Thursday, February 2, 2012
My first day of being a non smoker
I have been a smoker since I was 14 years old, now at 28 with a beautiful baby girl I have made the decision to put the cigarettes down. NOT so easy, unlike my mom who just quit out of nowhere, I have been building up to the occasion. I have been taking champix for 10 days now gradually cutting back and trying to break the habit smoking, you know that morning smoke, the after you eat smoke and the just before bed smoke. That's been the easy part with the exception of the morning smoke, that seems to be the hardest one for me, it goes perfectly with my coffee. I think I may have to ditch that coffee as well. Today is the first day that I haven't had one smoke, my last smoke was 14hrs ago I know that doesn't seem that long ago, but trust me when you are at home with a teething 7 month old its FOREVER!!!! I have wanted to break down and light up since I woke up, I just keep baring in mind that the first 24hrs are the toughest, I tell myself at every half hour point "just wait, you can reward yourself with a smoke in half hour" and I ll tell ya that half hour takes forever to come but then when it does I tell myself the same thing again "just wait you can have one in half hour" I will continue to do this in hopes to keep me from lighting up that smoke. My mom has been my biggest inspiration to wanting to do this, if she after 40 years of smoking can do this cold turkey then I know I can do this, and I have the help of Champix. I had a thought today, I have been with the man I am with for three years, and we have accomplished a lot in these three years, fully renovating our house in side and out. We had our daughter, spent so much money on making our home beautiful and giving our daughter the things she should have, even buying a brand new vehicle, I complain constantly about how much things cost, well on average I have blown just in the time that me and my man have been together approx 12 thousand dollars. unreal, that could have paid for so much, and here I am blowing it up in smoke!! STUPID
I have been smoke free for 12 days 12 hours!!! I quit cold turkey too, after 40 years of smoking! I was rarely seen without a cigarette in my hand, so some people find it hard to believe! No one is more surprised than I - trust me!! I love smoking, I miss smoking, but I QUIT smoking! I should be mourning my nicotine addiction I suppose, but instead I am just plain pissed at my addiction. To think of all the burn holes in clothes, furniture, cars, carpet etc., over the years, is just the icing on the real expense!!! My daughter who is dealing with her addiction to nicotine now as well, asked me if I knew the night before I quit that that would be my last cigarette and I would be quitting in the morning? My answer was no, crazy stuff - I just woke up with sore lungs and thought what the hell was I doing? "ENOUGH"! That was it, I said to my husband, "I quit smoking right now - I am done"! He didn't really believe me I know, because he kept smoking that day, not much, but still lit up - he quit the following day. I can remember times I would lite up that "AH, can't wait" cigarette and being turned off kinda, would smoke it and half way done put it out - it'll taste better later, I'd tell myself and never really thinking it about it, light up and go on as business usual! What the hell??
The first day was the hardest, I literately went 5 minutes at a time for the first little while - the next day it was an hour at a time and today it's more "one day at a time"! I do feel much better, but can still feel it in my lungs - I cannot wait for that feeling to be gone! At least I can now take a deep breath!